Parenting Tips

7 Ways to Reduce School Bullying by Dr. Michele Borba

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 18:12:47 GMT

Lately, I have been educating parents on keeping our kids safe online. One of the biggest concerns for parents in the online world, continues to be cyberbulling. This is a growing trend and has devastating results including low self esteem, alienation and suicide.

Schools and parents need to begin by addressing bullying at school aggressively in the early elementary years. Many elementary students don’t know how to handle the situation. Schools and parents need to make sure kids know what to do when they are a victim. In addition, schools need to create a “safe” environment for those victims to report the bullying. Victims will never come forward if they do not feel protected and safe.

Dr. Michele Borba addresses this issue on her website and in her latest book, The Big Book of Parenting. We all need to work together in order to reduce school bullying. Below is one of her most recent postings that she wanted to share the readers at MomsMaterial, thanks Michele!

7 Ways to Reduce School Bullying by Dr. Michele Borba

A disturbing new study on bullying was released at the American Public Health Association’s 137th Annual Meeting & Exposition. The study was conducted by lead reseachers H. Wesley Perkins, PhD, Jessica M. Perkins, Ms. and David W. Craig, PhD. who used anonymous online surveys completed by over 10,000 middle school students to determine where bullying is most likely to occur on school campuses. I was asked by FOX News to report those results and make recommendations.

Here are a few of the study highlights as well as the recommendations I give schools to reverse this troubling trend:

* Two-thirds of middle school students report they were bullied in the past month

* Students reported being victims of many types of bullying behaviors

* Within the most recent month, 43 percent of students had been physically bullied

* Within the most recent month 51 percent of students had been teased in an unfriendly way; 50 percent called hurtful names; 31 percent excluded from a group to hurt their feelings; 28 percent had belongings taken or broken; 39 percent had an unkind rumor spread about them; and 21 percent were threatened to be hurt

* Within the most recent month 66 percent of the middle school students had been the victim of multiple bullying behaviors

* Being bullied in the classroom (as compared with being bullied in other areas of the school) was correlated with a higher tendency among students to feel threatened and unsafe at school

* The classroom, lunchroom and hallways at school were the places where victimization was most prevalent (50 percent to 57 percent of all students in each of these settings)

* All other areas of the school campus had much lower incidents of bullying (19 percent to 37 percent)

* Eight percent of those students bullied had skipped school at least once due to fear of others hurting or making fun of them

* One out of every four students had skipped recess, not gone to the bathroom, lunch or a class, pretended to be sick and went home, or avoided a hallway or some other place at school to avoid a bully

Bottom line: Studies show that bullying is intensifying in our schools. Those one-time “Stop Bullying” assemblies or posters plastered on walls are ineffective in reducing this behavior. The best approach to stop bullying (which CAN be done) is always data-driven and evidence based. It takes school-wide commitment and the consistency of all stakeholders.

Here are a few important lessons from this new study and my own Seven R’s to REDUCE Bullying I use in my work in schools. These have effectively reduced violence, aggression and bullying behaviors school-wide and became the basis of the Proposal to End School Violence (SB1667) I wrote for the state of California.

1. REALIZE NEGATIVE IMPACT: Bullying must be taken seriously and it has deadly consequences to not only a child’s feelings of emotional safety but also to the entire learning culture. Bullying is learned. It is also intensifying, pervasive and starting at younger ages. Schools most effective at reducing this behavior recognize it is a serious problem. Educational authorities must put the reduction of bullying as a high priority.

2. REVIEW DATA AND BE EVIDENCE BASED: Schools who are best at reducing bullying use their own data based on anonymous surveys of their students to determine bullying frequency, location and intensity. Those educators then get on board together, review solid research-based proven strategies to turn this behavior around (such as Ken Rigby’s approach in Australia and Dan Olweus in Norway) and stay committed.

3. SET CLEAR RULES AGAINST CRUELTY ANNOUNCED TO ALL: Educators must announce to their students that this behavior is not only inappropriate but will be closely monitored. There will be consequences and students will be held accountable. Parents, students and educators are jointly aware of the consequences. All educators must be trained how to respond to bullying each and every time.

4. RECOGNIZE BULLYING SIGNS: All stakeholders must learn to recognize now only what bullying is what the signs of bullying. Educating adults via workshops, newsletters, and parent workshops is critical. All adults are on the “same page.” Bullying always has three components: 1. A negative, cruel intent; 2. Repeated aggression or cruel behavior; 3. A power imbalance (one child can not hold their own against the perpetrator). There are also five types of bullying: physical, verbal, emotional, sexual and electronic. While physical bullying is usually the easiest to spot (hitting, kicking, shoving, slamming resulting in bumps and bruises) and verbal bullying can be heard (racial slurs, homophobic comments, cruel, vicious comments) other types of bullying are more difficult to decipher: emotional (exclusion, shunning, rejection, rumors), sexual or electronic (cyberbullying, sexting, images). In fairness to educators, most bullying in classrooms happens when a teacher’s back is turned, a substitute is present or in rooms where the “home room” teacher is not there and of the more subtle type. Bullying peaks at middle schools where students also have multiple teachers. And remember that bullies are also smart and cunning: they know how to do their cruel deeds and how to get away with them.

5. SET ANONYMOUS REPORTING OPTIONS: One of the simplest ways to determine where bullying is happening on a school campus (as well as the time and who bullies are) is with a Report Box. The box is wooden or metal and designed like a mailbox (open slot on top) with a bolt lock.. Boxes are distributed in several locations around the school (libraries, office, classrooms). Students may then write any threats they experienced or witnessed and insert them in the boxes. Principals and teachers are able to track those responses and make bullies accountable as well as keep track as to where students do not feel safe.

6. RECOGNIZE HOT SPOTS BASED ON DATA AND BOOST ADULT VISIBILITY: Bullying is most prone to happen in certain school locations: bathrooms, lunchrooms, classrooms and hallways. Research in Norway by Dan Olweus found that boosting adult supervision (even putting up mirrors and video cameras—if you can’t afford film don’t put it in –just don’t tell the kids!) or student hall monitors in identified hot spots reduces bullying by almost FIFTY PERCENT! (One North Penn principal made a full size cardboard likeness of herself with a sign that said, “I’m watching you! You’ll never know when I’m going to show up!” and stuck it in the hall. Clever!)

6. REBUILD A CULTURE OF CARING AND MOBILIZE YOUR BYSTANDERS: Research also shows that best hope we have for reducing bullying is to change the school culture by boosting empathy and compassion. One way to do so is to mobilize the bystanders who are witnessing bullying. Studies at the University of Toronto show that students who step in within the first ten seconds can effectively stop bullying. The trick is teaching students how to step in so they will not be hurt, mobilize their empathy so they will step in and teach strategies so they know what they can do to effective stop a bullying incident. Students also need to know which adults to turn to who will believe them and respond. Seventy-five percent of bullying starts as verbal abuse and then escalates. A key is to stop bullying before it escalates.

7. RETEACH HABITS AND RECOGNIZE REPEAT BULLIES AND BULLIED: The final step is for counselors and teachers to identify those students who are repeat bullies (a child who bullies at age eight has a one in four chance to have a criminal record by the age of 26!) and the bullied (repeated victimization can do severe emotional damage to a child). Both the bully and the bullied will need specific help to change their behavior habits.

Bullying can be reduced but only with certain methods. We know what works. It’s now up to adults to step up and implement proven, effective techniques. There is never an excuse for bullying. Enough!

You can find the original article and Dr. Michele Borba’s website by clicking here.

For more strategies, signs of bullying, how to recognize and discuss bullying with your child, as well as dozens of other proven solutions refer to The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries by Michele Borba Bullying (pg 332); Bullied (pg 323); Cyberbullying (pg 602).

About Dr. Michele Borba

Dr.Michele Borba is a TODAY contributor and regular parent expert on shows including The View, CNN and Dr. Phil. She is an educational psychologist, former teacher and mom who is recognized for her solution-based strategies to strengthen a child's behavior and character.Titles include PARENTS DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE, NO MORE MISBEHAVIN', BUILDING MORAL INTELLIGENCE, and 12 SIMPLE SECRETS REAL MOMS KNOW. Her latest book is THE BIG BOOK OF PARENTING SOLUTIONS: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries. Blog: www.micheleborba.com or twitter: @micheleborba.

Cammie Moise

How My Kid’s Got On Santa’s “Naughty” List

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 08:06:39 GMT

Have you ever wondered just what it takes to get on Santa’s “naughty” list? Thanks to my kids, I know.

I will never forget the Christmas of 2003, the year my kid’s names made it on Santa’s “naughty” list. I had been out shopping for Christmas gifts and I needed a good hiding place to stash the gifts before I had a chance to wrap them. I knew just the place, in the upstairs hall closet, in the very back behind some boxes. You would really have to be digging to find these gifts.

A few days later, as I was coming up the stairs, I heard some “suspicious” noises. As I turned the corner, I noticed the hallway closet door was wide open. The kids were in my daughter’s room with the door shut and I could hear my daughter say, “Here, try these on.” I looked in the closet and saw that the presents that used to be hidden in the back corner, were now in the middle of the closet. Some pajamas had been opened, and I suspected were now on my kids. The games, the hot wheels set and the Barbie’s were now open and exposed in the closet. I began to panic as these were most of the gifts that were from Santa. I knew I had to think quickly, and I am still surprised to this day, how quickly I reacted.

I stood by the closet waiting for them to come out of my daughter’s room. A few minutes later, they came out in their new Christmas pajamas talking about the Hot Wheels set. When they saw me, their eyes got big, they knew they were in trouble. I told them I was very upset that they had found their Christmas presents. Especially because these were gifts from Santa. They looked a little confused, so I told them this was the first year I had signed up for the Santa’s Parent Helper Program. Huh!?!

I explained that Santa was a little overwhelmed with all the gifts and he needed some help. These were some of the gifts Santa asked me to get. I knew Santa would be upset because he likes everything to be a surprise. I told them to clean everything up and then go to their rooms until I called them for dinner.

I called Hubby and told him what happened. He said, “I’ll talk to them when I get home. Don’t tell them that you told me.” I anxiously waited for him to get home. As soon as he walked in the door, he called the kids. They came down and noticed a letter in his hand. He asked them, “Do you know what I received at work today?” They look at me, and they look back at hubby with even bigger eyes. Hubby continues, “A letter from Santa!” Silence. “It says he was doing his random checks on boys and girls today, when he saw both of you going through the closet and playing with your presents.” He then tells them, Santa has officially moved their names to the “naughty” list. The kids now look as panicked as I did earlier today.

Hubby keeps reading, “Christmas is only a few days away, but I will give you a chance to get your name back on the “nice” list. You will have to be on your best behavior - no fighting with your brother or sister, clean your rooms and help your mom and dad. I will continue with my random checks and if I find out you have been very good, I will take your name off the “naughty” list.” More silence as we let it all soak in.

The kids apologized and for the last 3 days before Christmas, we had the most well behaved children. They were nice to each other, they asked if they could help, they picked up and cleaned up. My daughter even asked if she could clean my room.

Occasionally, this time of year, someone will mention the “naughty” list. When they do, my kids behavior improves and they share the story of how they were once on the “naughty” list. By the way, they did make it back on to the “nice” list and did receive their presents. Even though they knew what most of them were, they were very thankful!

I hope your children never know what it is like to be on the “naughty” list. Happy Holidays!

Cammie Moise

Put on Your Poker Face, It’s Game Night!

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 20:04:37 GMT

The last couple of weeks, our family game nights have consisted of poker. I must admit that prior to playing with my kids, I was not a fan of this game. I would imagine it has to do with the people I have played in the past, including hubby. He is very competitive and loves to win. He is also an excellent player when it comes to strategy, chance and bluffing. He is difficult to beat in any strategic game and is well known around the neighborhood (with the kids) as the one to beat.

First of all, let me start out by saying that we play for fun, no money or prizes have been exchanged. We are learning the game and the victory of being the last player with all the chips is sweet! Although, I have a feeling that over the holidays, we will have a neighborhood tournament that just might include a small prize.

Poker can certainly be a fun way to teach kids math, strategy, probability and managing your money. It is also a great way to learn the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, or simply put – winning and losing. None of us like to lose but kids get a chance to see that during the game, everyone wins and loses. They can even experience a player that seems to be doomed rise up and take it all!

Last week, we had two neighborhood boys join us for a game of poker. One of the boys is your typical impulse, risk taker and the other is more methodical and doesn’t take too many risks. The impulse player was out of the game pretty quickly as he decided to bluff and go “all in”. The other neighbor slowly beat all of us and then managed to win against hubby. He had only played poker a few times and he was beaming! It was fun and exciting to watch.

We even spent time watching a recent World Poker Tournament that was on the DVR. Shortly after that, my son said he was ready to play some more poker.

He came out looking like this…

and we knew we were in trouble!

Our Family Game Night is all about having fun, whether it is playing poker, a Wii game or the Game of Life! Make a point to set aside one night a week and bring on the games!

Since poker can be a controversial topic, what is your take on playing poker with the kids? (please comment below)

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Cammie Moise

A Standard Lesson on Shapes Comes to Life When You Bring Technology Into the Classroom

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:51:59 GMT

This weekend I received a pleasant surprise from my son. He asked me to watch a video that he made at school. His class was learning about different shapes such as a cone, trapezoid, parallelogram and octagon. The students were given a camera to take pictures of objects around the school that represent some of these shapes. Then they were told to make a video using the pictures the students in the class took, adding their own text and music. He really enjoyed this project and I think he learned more using the latest technology over a worksheet.

As we began watching the video he told me about his class project. He said, “We used Word to make a Wordle.” It was fun to recognize some of his favorite things (video games) in the Wordle. It is amazing when you realize how these projects really help kids look outside of the box. They begin to open their minds and use their creativity. As the pictures popped up on the screen I begin to look for shapes instead of the overall object. This is one I will have to remember for some fun projects this summer.

Now, open your mind and enjoy this video masterpiece below by my 8 year old son.

Click here to find out more about Wordle.

When I asked him to write about his project, this is what he wrote…

Used Word to make a Wordle. After that we put it to open at a full screen. We copied it to power point and saved them. Then we saved at jpeg and then went to anomoto. We put them in different orders on purpose.We choose music. Next we finalized it. We put a description and made the video. Press the play button to play the 3:05 video.

Cammie Moise

Are Your Kids Searching on Google? Find Out How to Use Google’s Safe Search Filter

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 18:22:31 GMT

When my kids search for something online, they typically use Google. I just found out about a feature on Google that will filter your search results. The video is below and it shows you exactly how to do it.

Imagine my surprise when I went to set my Google filter and it was already on. I should have known since I rarely get questionable search results. I did not have the Locking Safe Search on, so I did add that. I know that in a few years, my kids will figure out how to get around some of the restrictions I have placed on our computers. Luckily, by then they will know how to react when they come across inappropriate material. Don’t think I’m naive, I know that just because they know what to do, doesn’t mean they will always do the right thing. But at some point, after they have the knowledge and show some responsibility, I have to let them loose. I don’t mind doing that if I have prepared them… and they are over 21!

For now, I can use the Google Locking Safe Search and know if it is on… by the colored balls! The great thing about these colored balls is that you can see them across the room and you know they are using the strict setting! Thanks Google for helping out parents.

This video was brought to my attention by SimpleK12, thanks! It explains the feature and gives you a step-by-step guide on how to do it.

It’s so easy, even a parent can do it! (this is my new saying, since our kids are more advanced on computers than we are)

Let me know in your comments below if you thought this article was helpful!

Tuesday Tidbits - Internet Safety for Kids

A Web Predator Helps Parents Realize the Importance of Talking to Their Kids About Online Safety

The Perfect Gift for a 13 Year Old - A Facebook Profile and A Lesson on Internet Safety

Let's Be Safe, at Home, Online by Christopher Burgess

Promoting National Cyber Security Awareness Month

Cammie Moise

Let’s Be Safe, At Home, Online by Christopher Burgess

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:38:00 GMT

My guest post today is from Christopher Burgess, who I connected with on Twitter. I began following tweets about online safety and noticed that he always had great information to share. When I began researching information to educate parents about online safety, I knew I wanted to get some advice from Christopher. I was extremely thankful when he agreed to a phone call and he spent time educating me on more than the typical online security. In addition, over the month of October for National Cyber Security Awareness Month he tweeted 31 safety tips which I will share in a a future article. One more reason to love Twitter, it has allowed me access to experts in the fields that I am interested in. I am hoping to have him return with more guest posts on safety and security online. Thanks Christopher for sharing your passion and knowledge on keeping businesses and families safe at home and online.

Let’s Be Safe, At Home and Online

If you’re reading this blog, odds are you are a parent, you and your family are connected to the internet; your entrée to the internet is via a laptop, desktop PC, smart-phone, or other such devices and you have one, two maybe three separate service providers. Your connected devices allow you and your family the opportunity to literally bring the world to your doorstep. And we want the world to come to our door via the internet – as the internet brings to us knowledge, enhances our ability to communicate, provides us opportunities to share and collaborate with others and of course enables us to conduct commerce and be entertained.

Fortunately, if your online experiences are like mine, the people and services you encounter are with great folks and honest companies or as I like to say, “They are Ivory Snow 99 44/100th percent pure of heart; honest and without hidden agendas.” There exists unfortunately, a malicious minority of individuals, as well as, organized criminal entities which prey on those of us whose online virtual doors are invitingly open.

So let’s begin to close those virtual doors and keep out the uninvited.

Computer Security:
- Anti-virus and anti-spyware software – enable automatic updates and scan, every day for viruses, malware, crimeware and spyware. In addition, scan every device which attaches to your computer, every time it attaches. My rationale is, that device may have been inserted into a computer that is infected and thus the device is a “carrier” of a computer virus or malware and waiting to be transmitted to next computer it touches.
- Firewall - similarly, make sure your web browser or security software has the firewall option enabled. Why? Think of the firewall as your computer’s guard force – blocking attempts to communicate with your computer from those whom you haven’t authorized.
- Computer Security Scans – every day you should run a security scan on your computer – every day.
Home Network Security:
- Using a wireless router to create a home WI-FI network? Enable WPA2 encryption and create a strong password (letter, number & symbol, not a word in a dictionary). If your router does not support WPA2 encryption, it is, in my opinion, time to upgrade that router. If you give the password to a visitor, say a house guest, change the password. And don’t forget to configure your router so that your SSID (Service Set Identifier) is suppressed. This configuration will keep your network private from those outside your home (see this piece from the TODAY show “Is your Wi-Fi connection safe”.)

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Computer Control:
- Guests? Do you allow house guests to use any of the computers in your home? I recommend creation of guest accounts with separate log-in for your guests so they have their own environment on the computer w/o access to your personal data or browser history or cookies.
- Administrator? Control the admin functions of a computer and you essentially control the computer. Take control, set a unique password so that the computer settings can only be changed by the administrator, you?
- Auto-run or not to auto-run? Disable Auto-Run and scan all USB/CD/DVD even if you received it from a trusted source, their USB/CD/DVD may be ill from having visited a machine with malware/crimeware prior to visiting yours.

So where do you find reputable vendors for the aforementioned software? Let me point you to the non-profit Get Net Wise website where a comprehensive list of reputable security vendors is available; another resource for free security scan software from a list of reputable vendors is the National Cyber Security Alliance. Regardless of the vendor selected, always enable the automatic update function on your software. Vendors find unknown and unexpected vulnerabilities in their products and their avenue to close those vulnerabilities is via the update.

In closing, the online world enabled by the internet is wondrous place. Train your family to follow the above safety steps, and to call out any warnings or advisories generated by the tools being used to safeguard your family and your online experiences will be so much more enjoyable.

Thank you for your time,
Christopher

About Christopher Burgess

Christopher Burgess resides in Woodinville, WA. He is an author/speaker on intellectual property, intelligence, security, safety, education and awareness, with a focus on the online protection and safety of families, to include both the young and elderly. His published works (books, articles, audio pod-casts and video presentations can be found on his web page http://www.secretsstolen.com and his personal blog where he notes “I speak from the heart and shine light upon the many safety, security and humanitarian issues” can be read at http://www.veritate-et-virtute.com. Christopher is also the Senior Security Advisor to a Fortune 100 company, and can be contacted via his private email address: cburgess[at]att[dot]net.

If you found this article informative, please pass it on to others (email, tweet, Facebook, Stumble, etc) and let’s help protect our families!

Cammie Moise

Family Fun Project – Make Your Own Movie or Video

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:17:33 GMT

Do you have an actor, director or writer in your family? Has anyone in your family wanted to star in their own movie?

My family has (or thinks they have) actors, directors and writers and we love making our own movies. Several years ago, we decided to make a movie after we set up our Halloween decorations outside. We thought we could make a fun “Halloween” movie and include some kids in the neighborhood. Hubby began making a script and my daughter began recruiting other actors. The script was typed, the actors were gathered and the make up and costumes were finalized. We set aside a day to practice and film and our moviemaking began!

We have also acted out one of our favorite picture books (Three Billy Goats Gruff). We have read some of our favorite stories and sent them to friends (Duck! Rabbit!). We have also put together instructional and just plain silly and fun videos. Working together as a family to create a project has been so much fun! So we recommend you grab your camera or camcorder, think of a fun family project and bring it to life! If you have any fun family videos, add a link in the comments below.

Since it goes with the Halloween theme, we thought we would share it with you. Warning - it is a little over 5 minutes, but worth every minute. Be sure and watch all of it so you don’t miss out on the “bloopers”. Can you guess which blooper is my favorite (hint – I am not part of the clip and someone mentions they are nervous). Enjoy the movie!

Have a fun and safe Halloween!

If you enjoyed this article please pass it on!

Cammie Moise

The Perfect Gift For A 13 Year Old… A Facebook Profile

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:52:30 GMT

How would you like to give your 13 year old the perfect gift? Well, I have found it… a Facebook Profile! If you think I am crazy, then keep reading and let me explain.

Ask any 13 year old if they are on any social network sights and the answer will most likely be yes. I have heard many kids state that as soon as they are 13, they are getting on Facebook. Of course, I have heard that many kids are getting on Facebook younger than 13. Unfortunately for them, Facebook has a policy that states: You will not use Facebook if you are under 13. If they are caught, their profile will be taken down. In addition, the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) states that any website collecting personal information from anyone under 13 must have parental permission.

I believe as parents we need to enforce these policies. One reason they have this age requirement is that most kids under 13 are not responsible enough with posting personal information. And this brings me back to why I think you should give your child a Facebook Profile when they turn 13. If you handle it the right way, it can become a fun teachable moment.

When my daughter turns 13 in a few years, I will say, “Finally 13! I bet you’re ready to set up your Facebook Profile (or whatever the latest social network craze is). One of my gifts is to help you set it up, so let’s get on the computer!” Then I will teach her about privacy controls, her profile picture, posting personal information, adding pictures, videos and links. I will talk to her about what to do when someone she doesn’t know wants to “friend” her. I can show her the IM feature and teach her how to use it.

After we set it up, we can “google” her name and I can show her that her Facebook Profile picture is actually public and anyone will be able to see it. That means mom, dad, relatives, teachers, fiends parents, grandparents, etc. I will let her know her profile picture is important and it should be something you would show your best friend and your grandmother. I can show her the difference in what information is revealed by the different privacy settings. I will talk to her about the Facebook applications and I will tell her some of these contain viruses and malware. Then we have the Facebook fan pages and groups. I can show her using my Facebook profile the information that is available to others when you join a group or become a fan. These activities expose your picture and name to the other members that you don’t know. Some of the people in the same groups will see your picture and may try to “friend” you. I will ask her how she will handle that.

In addition, I will talk to her about private information. I will let her know she needs to be careful about what she posts. Even typical teenage posts can have consequences. I will remind her of the story about the girl that was upset her father couldn’t go to her school musical. She shared on her MySpace page that she didn’t want to work for someone like her dad’s boss, who yells all the time and treats her dad like dirt. After she posted it she realized her bosses son was one of her “friends”. A few weeks later, her father was fired. You can read about this story by clicking here in the Family Circle, Share Tactics article.

She will have to be careful about what her friends are posting too. I will talk to her about helping her friends stay safe online. Are her friends accepting friend requests from people they don’t know? If so, her posts may be seen by her “friend”. Are her friends posting pictures that may reveal too much? Locations, addresses, vacation plans, etc. all these innocent posts can have consequences.

As you can see, by giving your 13 year old a Facebook Profile for their birthday, it opens up the communication to online safety.

And that is why I am giving my daughter a Facebook Profile on her 13th birthday!

If you found this article informative, don’t forget to pass it on to others! All parents need reminders about online safety.

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Cammie Moise

Promoting National Cyber Security Awareness Month (October)

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:48:14 GMT

Did you know October is National Cyber Security Awareness Month (NCSAM)? I will be supporting NCSAM by educating parents on keeping their kids safe online. I am currently putting together a presentation for parents in my neighborhood and community. As I share my presentation with other parents, I will write informative articles to keep you educated and informed, here on MomsMaterial.

I am covering topics such as The Internet, Cell Phones and Tech Gadgets - the Good and the Bad. I will educate parents on our kids exposure to inappropriate material, online predators, cyberbullying, their social reputation, etc. I will also share the dangers of email, instant messaging (IM), chat rooms, sharing pictures and video, viruses and social networks. I am currently researching software for filtering, blocking and monitoring.

Parents need to know what dangers are out there and how we can prepare our kids. We need to tell them when the get online they will be exposed to inappropriate material and they will be approached by others they don’t know. If they understand that it will happen and we have discussed it with them, they are more likely to come to us when it happens.

I want my kids to know what to expect and how to handle it. Our best defense includes knowledge, open communication and programs that monitor, filter and alert you to any dangers.

My goal is to educate parents as we learn how to raise our kids and keep them safe in this technology driven world.

Please help educate parents by sharing any articles you find helpful with others. If you don’t want to miss any of these articles, please click here to add your email address to MomsMaterial’s free subscription.

Click here to learn more about National Cyber Security Awareness Month.

A Web Predator Helps Parents Realize the Importance of Talking to Their Kids About Online Safety

Cammie Moise

Consider These 4 Areas When Progress Reports Come Home

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:12:34 GMT

It seems like school just started, but last Friday, we received our first progress reports of the year. I thought it might be a good idea to share some tips on using progress reports to help your child succeed.

One thing to remember, a progress report indicates if your child is meeting expectations. It will show you if your child is having difficulty in a subject. If you are not happy with their progress report, it is your chance to find out why and work on a solution. You can work with your child’s teacher and come up with a plan to meet the teachers expectations.

Before you discuss the report with your child, ask them some questions about how they are doing in the classroom. What do they think their teacher will tell you about their behavior, class work and homework? This always starts the conversation and they may give you information from their own perspective rather than what the teacher has written. Their answers will give you insight into what they think. Do they know their own strengths and weaknesses?

Ask:

What do you think your teacher will say about your behavior? your homework? your class work?

What will your teacher say is your best subject? What do you think it is?

Which subject will your teacher say you need to work on? Do you know why?

Praise

I start off on a positive note, so they are not defensive and immediately tune out. We discuss positive comments from the teacher, good grades or if they have had improvement in an area. I ask them what subject they like and what they have enjoyed learning so far this year.

Teacher Comments

Read teacher comments very carefully and read between the lines. If the teacher has taken the time to make a note, it is important. If it is a positive comment, let your child know what their teacher appreciates. If it is something they need to work on, ask them if they have any ideas on how to improve their grade. If it is appropriate, you can ask them why that might be important in the classroom. For instance, if they have a note about talking in class, why is it important for you to be quiet when the teacher is talking?

If any comments indicate a problem, I suggest emailing, calling or meeting with the teacher as soon as possible. You may find out that it is not a problem, but something your child needs to continue working on. You might find out the teacher is concerned about a behavior or a struggle. It is best to identify this early in the year, otherwise, they may continue getting further and further behind.

Expectations

Parents should always discuss their expectation with their child. I expect my children to turn in their best work, do their homework, study and have good conduct. I know that my kids will naturally have a difficult time with certain subjects or behavior and I take this into consideration. I expect that if my child needs to improve in a subject or area that they have a plan. Depending on their age, you may need to help them come up with a plan. If they don’t know what is expected or don’t have a plan they will not meet any expectations when the report card comes home.

Plan

Let your child know that they have time to bring up grades and improve their behavior. They need to understand why they are having trouble. They may need to study more, keep better track of homework assignments or learn test taking language. They may need to re-evaluate their homework habits. When do they do their homework? Is that working well? When they tell you they are finished with their homework, does that mean the assignment only or does that include studying for tests, projects and reading? They may need to learn new skills on studying, planning or organizing. Students don’t automatically know how to study, plan and organize; they need to be taught.

Remember this is a time to see if your child is meeting the teachers expectations. If they are, is their still room for improvement. If not, find out why and help your child make a plan to help them succeed.

Please share any comments or suggestions regarding progress reports that would be helpful to others.

Cammie Moise