Guest Blogger

Back to School Bullyproofing Tips by The Gracie Brothers

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 18:32:28 GMT

For many children, back to school means back to bullying. We asked Ryron and Rener Gracie, creators of Gracie Bullyproof™– a confidence development program for kids, for some advice on how to help kids stay safe from this pervasive malady.

Bullying is the leading cause of depression and low self-esteem for children. The National Education Association reports 160,000 children miss school every day for fear of bullying. Indeed, every child is a potential target for verbal or physical harassment. What may start as simple name-calling or harmless teasing can snowball into life-altering torment and despair. Unfortunately, we usually don’t hear about bullying until it’s too late – sometimes with shocking consequences like when a school shooting or teen suicide makes national headlines. For weeks after the crisis, bullying will command the attention of parents and educators, and then it slips from public view. The problem remains unsolved despite many positive efforts by local school systems to combat this pervasive social malady. We believe the solution starts at home…where you can train your child to defend themselves against aggressive, mean-spirited children. Here are six steps we encourage all parents to take in order to protect their children from bullies.

1) Start Talking About Bullying. Many children are reluctant to discuss bullying with teachers or parents. They fear the bully’s wrath, and many even believe that they deserve the harassment and humiliation. They hold the emotional pain inside and attempt to hide physical injuries rather than face the problem. Creating and sustaining open communication with your child will enable you to more readily identify the signs of bullying and deal with it if necessary. One of the most effective ways to approach the topic is to make it part of routine conversation at home. Start by asking if your child knows of any bullies at the school, and then ask what the bullies do to other kids. Finally, ask how these bullies treat your child and carefully assess the response. By having regular discussions about bullies and their behaviors, you will demystify the topic and make it easier for your child to both recognize the behavior and tell you about it if it occurs.

2) Watch For Signs of Bullying. Even with the best of relationships between you and your child, simple fear may prevent the child from disclosing a problem with a bully. If you detect depression, weakened appetite, lowered enthusiasm, aggressive attitude, change in sleep patterns, or an unusual drop in their grades, tell your child that you have noticed these uncharacteristic behaviors and that you want to help. The key to success is to communicate a sincere desire to help rather than demanding that they change their behavior.

3) Intervene Immediately When You Learn of Bullying Incidents. If you discover that your child is being bullied, immediately arrange to meet with school administrators and ensure they confront the aggressive child and the child’s parents. Do not downplay the situation by telling them to “blow it off” or “ignore the bully.” Follow up after the initial meeting to ensure that the bullying ceases.

4) Instill Confidence As the First Line of Defense. Confidence is the most effective deterrent to bullying. Build your child’s confidence with praise. Constantly reinforce their fragile sense of self-esteem. Remind them that everyone is unique with differing strengths and weaknesses. Focus on engaging in the activities that you know your child enjoys and excels in. The process of preparing them to face a bully will help develop their confidence. Show your child how to speak assertively, have good poster, and make eye contact. Teach them how to counter verbal attacks with reason and logic by simulating “bullying” situations with your child. Correct carefully and praise lavishly. In no time, your child will have the confidence and the verbal tools to deal with a bully. In the Gracie Bullyproof program, we find that the most confidence inducing activity is to teach the children techniques that will keep them if physically attacked. Once a child no longer fears for their personal safety, they can walk strong, address bullies with confidence and defuse harassment without violence.

5) Teach Your Child Not to Tolerate Bullying of Others. Another great way to increase your child’s preparedness for bullies is to teach them how to recognize bullying of another child. Teach your child what to look for and what to do should they see someone being bullied. Teach them how to intervene and to report bullying incidents to a teacher or school administrator. In addition to honing their ability to deal with a bully, intervening on behalf of others will widen their circle of friends and may reduce the likelihood of being targeted.

6) Teach Compassion For the Bully. A child lacks the maturity to understand that bullies are inherently weak, insecure people who are likely to be the products of bullying by a parent, family member, or another child. Teach your child that bullies are pitiful and deserve their compassion and understanding. This will help to diminish the bully’s stature in your child’s eyes and make it easier to dismiss their attacks.

Every child is exposed to bullying. As a parent it is your responsibility to prepare your youngster to deal with this potentially devastating experience, so you can guarantee they have a happy, prosperous, bully-free childhood.

Ryron and Rener Gracie are third-generation masters of Gracie Jiu-Jitsu and the creators of Gracie Bullyproof, a multimedia confidence and character development program that is taught in hundreds of self-defense academies and public schools worldwide. To learn more about how you can "Bullyproof" your child from home, please visit www.GracieKids.com.

Follow the Gracie Brothers on Twitter and Facebook.

Cammie Moise

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My Child? A Bully? Part 1 by Annie Fox

My Child? A Bully? Part 2 by Annie Fox

One of my Favorite Sites, LivingLocurto.com Has a Giveaway for a FREE iPod touch?

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 21:43:45 GMT

LivingLocurto.com is one of my favorite sites for free printables, weekly menus, recipes, crafts, parties and more. My friend Amy started this site so she could share ideas that help families save time, money and have some fun!

I have been visiting LivingLocurto a lot lately and have found some great ideas for our Annual Haunted House Halloween Party. In addition, one of Amy’s articles, 8 Free Halloween Craft Printables (link below), was just featured on ReadersDigest.com. I am looking forward to finding more great ideas as the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays approach.

One more reason, I wanted to share this site with you…

LivingLocurto has a GREAT giveaway going on right now for an iPod touch. Just this past Friday, the technology teacher at our elementary school spoke at our PTA meeting. She discussed the new technology the kids are using this year. Guess what? The kids will be using iPod touches for research, among other things. That means this is on my kids Christmas list.

I don’t know about you, but I love to get things free! So, I have already entered and am hoping I win. And even though it means my chances for winning go down, I wanted to share it with you. You can enter the giveaway by clicking here.

Click here to read 8 Free Halloween Craft Printables, featured on Readers Digest.

Visit Living Locurto by clicking on button below:

About Amy

Amy Locurto is a work-from-home wife and mom of two from Texas. A graduate from Oklahoma State University with a Fine Arts degree in Graphic Design, Amy has owned a design business, Atomic Egg, for 10 years and is also co-founder of a photography blog I♥Faces.

Living Locurto offers free printables, weekly menu plans, recipes, fun party ideas and crafts.

If you tweet, I recommend following Amy at @livinglocurto or @iheartfaces.

Thanks, Amy!

Cammie Moise

Guest Post - This is What it is Like Being a “Hot” Girl by Diggy

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 19:56:51 GMT

I ran across this post and thought it was appropriate to share with parents. As many of you know, I have been working on a presentation to educate parents on technology and internet safety for our kids. Kids needs to be aware (at the appropriate time) that they will be faced with this type of behavior. It could be through chat rooms, IM, social network sites (myspace, facebook, etc.), youtube, emails and videocalls. They need to know how to respond, and if possible, BEFORE it happens. In addition, we need to make sure we are teaching our kids to be respectful of others.

This is What it is Like Being a Hot Girl...
by Diggy

The difference between men and women is pretty big and being a guy you are mostly the predator:)

I’ve never seen it from a girls perspective and decided to set up an experiment,

I made an account on facebook with pictures of a really good looking girl, and filled in some interests, I must have had close to 50 random guys adding me and sending messages to this account, of course them thinking its the gorgeous girl in the display picture!

Below I’m going to post the emails that were sent:…

HEy u! can u maybe send me ur number plz???

im sorry to ask but wasiu in london about 8yrs ago and do u know jackie and benj?
xxx

hey hey.. how u doing =) xx

Halo there. How are you and where you from ?

HI. , you are a real good tease!

hi
you seem like some one i would really like to get to know better
where in south africa are you from?
or rather what city are you in?

Hi it is Chris. I have no idea why I mailed you. Sorry!

You are Stunning! Where do you live?

dAMN, YA SUPA HOT

oh my you r real sexy ,,,mmmmm yummy

wow…ur bod is absolutly STUNNING and amazing..damn ur like a sex g0ddess!

u r very sexy, wana kiss ur luscious lipz

where in SA are you from
i must say you are very attractive

u are really a vision of true beauty and your naughty smile. . . sexy any way just thought id say hey maybe chat sometime if u keen

Hey how r u beautiful?

Hi
How is your day so far?
I am a very spontaneous guy that is not shy and very direct
I would love to chat with you and get to know you better
Who knows what might happen in the future………..I might just be the one you are looking for.Do you like being spoiled………
What do you like doing for fun and adventure in your spare time?

hey , u r beautiful n sexy gal, wana be friends

lets hav sex i would love to

Beauty has never been so Devine , What do you do to keep yourself busy ……
Without any strings attached , whats your hobbies and interests…..

Hey gorgeous

——————————————————————————
I think you get the point by now…I could continue posting more of these kind of messages but Im frustrated by these guys already so Im stopping !

You know…I never realised that girls have to put up with this kind of nonsense!
Its pretty ridiculous actually. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t reply to a single one of these messages. They are all the same, needy and pathetic, and not one of the stand out or seem like they really want to get to know the girl.

Judging from the messages above there should be two big realisations and lightbulb moments for you…

1.) You should now realise why girls and especially gorgeous girls act and behave the way they do. Why they have defenses up and why they sometimes seem to come across as bitches. All they are doing is separating the wussies and needy guys from the real men. In dating methods like The Mystery Method, it explains that girls have shields up because there is no possible way that they can have time for each and every guy that tries to approach her or contact her, and she has to come up with a way of maximizing her time and wasting as little of it as possible. Now you can see why this is true!

2.) You should now easily be able to see how to be different from most guys in this world, how to not be needy and wussy, and how to get her attention just by standing out. Especially in real life, if you are having a good time with your buddies, you’re having fun, you walk confident, you can keep eye-contact and you are better than average on the dancefloor, you have a big edge over most guys already. Girls can pick up on this very easily, and when they do and you go to talk to them, all you have to do is be yourself, because a girl can spot quality very fast.

Think for yourself a moment, if you were or are a gorgeous girl, would you even remotely consider spending a millisecond of your time on any one of these guys?
I surely would not. Maybe there are some of these guys who are truly awesome people…but …by acting and portraying themselves the way they do, they might and most certainly will miss their chance of a gorgeous girl getting to know them!

You can find more articles by Diggy at UpgradeReality.com.

About UpgradeReality

I love personal development, self improvement and learning. That is how Upgradereality.com came about, so I could share my thoughts and experiences with others, make new friendships, connect with like-minded people and help and inspire others do the same. Anything related to fitness, health, dating,finance ,inspiration, achievement, productivity. I love it all, and love writing about it.

UPGRADE REALITY is about creating the best world for you.
About becoming who you truly wish to be!
About removing self-limiting beliefs and achieving your deepest desires.

Cammie Moise

Guest Post - The Confident Mom Talks About Allowance

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 12:00:00 GMT

Moms, are you tired of feeling out-of-control, overwhelmed and unprepared in your most important role? Are you at your wits end with no fresh ideas? Feeling powerless, alone – with no time for yourself? Then you need to know about my friend, Susan – The Confident Mom.

Susan shares her insight as a Parent Coach on her website. She includes some of the latest struggles parents are dealing with today.

Lately, at our house, we have been discussing allowance and I wanted to share her latest article in which she shares her insight.

Navigating the road of allowance… rough road ahead by Susan Heid

I have had this question quite a bit lately with moms I coach, moms at the soccer field and in chat groups online. It is funny how a simple procedure can end up producing such havoc with parents. Do we give allowance, do we not? Is it tied to chores, or not? Is it a privilege or a right? How much, is that too much? The list could go on and on!

The first thing I always toss back into the conversation is, what do you think will work for your family? That catches everyone off guard! It seems that it is easier to just do what someone else does rather than thinking through your own reasons why allowance is even a topic you are discussing and what you are trying to teach your children with this tool. Is it just so they stop bugging you for money, or are you trying to help them learn how to manage their own money? Ask yourself a few questions before you make a decision about allowance.

1) What am I trying to teach my child by giving allowance?
2) Do I think chores need to be tied into the allowance or is that separate?
3) What is a reasonable amount for their age?
4) Will this make your life more complicated?

So now, here is my opinion! Allowance is an awesome tool to allow your children to make some BIG mistakes about managing money when they are young as well as learn TO manage their money. This is the #1 reason why I love allowance. At our house allowance is not tied into chores, allowance is a part of being in the family. So we deal with chores a different way. I prefer this and it works out very well. This was my husband’s idea when we got married. When I was a single mom I had chores and allowance tied together – so it was always up to me to see if chores were done, make some kind of chart, take money away……AHHHH, it was way too much trouble, so I ended up just giving the money even if chores were not completed because it was easier than arguing! Now, if chores aren’t done when they are expected, another chore is added on. I can tell you, it didn’t take long before everyone knew they needed to just complete the jobs they had been given.

Allowance is categorized by age at our house too, different age groups get a different amount. This correlates to how much responsibility you have in the family. So this year, when my daughter turned 16 and was going to be driving, she had a significant increase in her allowance, partly due to her age but mostly because she was going to be expected to help me with driving. This is not one of her chores, but a family responsibility. It works out well.

The best part of allowance though is actually allowing my kids to spend their money however they see fit. The other part of that equation is allowing them to fail and not “save” them. For example: I have two boys who enjoy going over to the bookstore across the street; they go over with the prime reason that they want to buy something- you know the familiar”money burning a hole in the pocket” predicament. Often times they come back with good purchases, other times it is in my opinion a “wasteful” purchase, but never the less it is THEIR purchase. Once in awhile I might throw in a comment about a vacation coming up where they might need their own money, or activity we have planned – but then I let it go. I have come to realize no amount of reasoning, logical thinking, or advice from me will help them learn where and when to spend their money.

Lately I have not monitored their bank accounts or money spending very closely and I will tell you why. They will learn more by my example, how they see me spend and save my money rather than my preaching. I have decided to not limit their spending, it is their money not mine. Once I give it to them it is no longer mine to monitor or “give permission” to spend. This was a little more difficult for my husband to grasp, but when I put it to him this way, “Wouldn’t you rather they end up broke now at 10 and have no money during vacation, then at 20 and have no money for rent?” He got it. Let the consequences do the preaching, not me! That is my approach, but the other part of this is when your child is broke and doesn’t have money to do what everyone else is doing with “their” money, you stand firm and do not loan them money or give them more. What are you teaching them by giving them money when they have spent all theirs? It is hard to see your child disappointed or upset, but I can tell you allowing that to happen will be a better deterrent to it happening again then you lecturing or giving a loan. Lessons are hard, but I would rather my kids learn when they are young and have the opportunity to make mistakes now rather than later. Missing out on a trip to get ice cream is small potatoes when you compare it to getting evicted because they can’t pay rent because they didn’t learn how to manage money while growing up.

Yep, I like my approach, but it is not for everyone. Thus the first question, “what do you think will work for your family?”

Thanks Susan!

You can find out more about Susan, including more articles, at her website, The Confident Mom.

Susan Heid, is a PCI Certified Parent Coach®, Certified Family Manager® Coach and a builder of CONFIDENCE in moms today! She helps busy mom’s gain clarity in their lives – redirecting their energy in more effective ways by focusing on their unique gifts and strengths.

Cammie Moise

Guest Post - Reduce Stress in Your Daily Life by Coach Jenn

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 00:04:53 GMT

MomsMaterial is not all about parenting and kids, it is also about taking time for yourself. Today’s guest post comes from Coach Jenn at Personal Fit Coach.

Coach Jenn has an amazing story that many moms can relate to. Before becoming a Personal Fitness Coach, she went through her own transformation. She lost over 40 pounds. Now, at age 40, and after 2 children, she is in the best shape of her life. She understands how a change like this can impact your outlook on life and make you a better mom. Her article below reminds us when we feel stressed, take inventory and make changes where needed. Thanks, Coach Jenn!

Reduce Stress In Your Daily Life

I’ve been having a rather stressful week. I’m not exactly sure why. So, I decided to do a little research for stress relieving tips. I went for a little extra long walk and tried some meditation. Here are some other ideas.

Take some time for yourself. Even if it’s only a few minutes a few times throughout the day, claiming some of your busy schedule for yourself in order to focus inward and relax can do wonders for your stress level. Of course, the more time you have the better, but the real key here is not time, but focus. Concentrate on yourself during this time and let those day-to-day troubles fall by the wayside.

Exercise. Since you’re reading my blog, chances are that you have already committed to exercise, but no study on stress ever leaves out its importance. Exercise makes your engine run smoother, removes toxins from the body, lowers anxiety, and makes you feel good about yourself. Nothing puts the brakes on a stressful day like a long walk, run, bike ride, or even a hardcore dose of P90X.

Drink water. We can’t stress (pun intended) the importance of drinking water. Water hydrates and cleanses your system, removes toxins, and makes you less hungry. Forcing yourself to drink a glass of water a few times a day is the simplest body regulator there is.

Eat breakfast. Take time out for a healthful breakfast before your day starts. It will help you get going for your busy day and will keep you from feeling hungry just when you need to be gaining momentum. Keep in mind that breakfast doesn’t mean “Trucker’s Special.” A grapefruit, banana, or protein shake are much better options.

Drink tea. With zero calories and a host of antioxidants—which are basically stress-combatants—tea provides rationale behind the historical significance of “tea time.” This afternoon ritual was created with de-stressing on its agenda. Turns out this was a nutritionally sound practice as well. Just hold the scones with clotted cream.

Stop and breathe. Not everyone has time (or interest) to work on meditation, but there is no doubt that more meditation would lead to a less-stressed world. Mini-meditation sessions focused on breathing can be stress reducers. It’s as simple as taking a minute from time to time and just concentrating on your breathing. Sitting or standing quietly, take a deep breath, filling your belly up with air as you inhale. As you exhale, silently count “one” to yourself and empty your belly of air. Continue inhaling and exhaling until you reach the count of 10; repeat as often as you wish. It works.

Snack well. Don’t binge or just grab whatever is in sight once you get hungry. By taking some time to plan your snacks, you keep your blood sugar constant; nothing adds to daily stress more than a sugar crash. If food has ever altered your mood or made you feel sluggish, you know what we’re talking about, and if it hasn’t, you’re probably not reading this anyway.

Stretch. You don’t need a full-blown yoga session to alleviate your stress (though that will certainly help). Finding a few minutes to stretch each day will both center your mind and elongate muscles that tend to contract as you become stressed. Starting each morning with 2 or 3 minutes of light stretching as soon as you get out of bed can do wonders for your outlook on the day. Remember, however, that in the morning you aren’t warmed up, and when we say light stretching, we mean light. You aren’t trying to exercise; just get your blood moving and muscles warmed up.

Do yoga. If you do have the time, try adding some yoga into your life. There’s a reason it’s the fastest-rising exercise in the western world. Yoga is a full-on assault against the daily onset of stress. It’s a whole-body workout that combines body and mind to enable you to focus.

Supplement your diet. Ensuring you have enough vitamins and, especially, minerals will help you ward off stress. Two other supplements that are particularly useful are fish oil and antioxidants—these are two areas in which our diets are often deficient. Shakeology is a great option.

Stop by her blog, Personal Fit Coach, for motivation, including health and fitness tips.

Cammie Moise

Helping Kids Get Back Into School by Dr. Kanner

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 22:38:04 GMT

Yesterday I ran across this article, Helping Kids Get Back Into School by Dr. Kanner with Your Family Matters. Although he wrote the article several weeks ago (and my kids go back to school tomorrow), I found some great tips that will help me as they get back into the school time routine.

Helping Kids Get Back Into School by Dr. Kanner

If your family is like most, your children and adolescents are still in a state of denial that school begins in about three weeks from now. As parents however, you are ready for the summer to end and excited about getting them back into structure yet you fear their adjustment into a new year of academics and wonder if they are prepared to manage the tasks ahead. Many parents avoid the concept of talking to their children about a new school year for they fear putting their children into bad moods and getting into a fight. On the other hand, when parents do not approach talking about getting ready for school and looking ahead to expectations for success, the avoided conflicts tend to emerge shortly after school begins when problems may already have arisen.

As with any transition, preparing ahead of time is always a good idea. When situations are thought through, discussed, and planned for, there tends to be less anxiety generated and a greater likelihood for success. Young children in particular are not yet capable of thinking in the abstract and plan ahead and need assistance in understanding what is expected of them and how to reach their goals. Many times parents place responsibilities on their children that they are not able to developmentally manage which can set their child up for failure. The responsibilities of school are common areas where parents either expect their child to manage themselves or rely on the school to teach them how to both organize and study.

Parents of both grade and middle school students need to sit down with their children prior to each school year and discuss both expectations and plans on how to help them succeed. Reviewing the importance of school, your faith in their abilities to manage their work, and discussing concepts such as studying, organization, and note taking are all essential in making sure their child feels prepared. Often times after such discussions, the parents and child determine that there may be some areas that need some assistance and this can then be provided which then serves to avoid a later problem. As I have discussed in prior segments, self esteem is generated when the child him of herself experiences success. When the child has the tools necessary to manage their life, success is more likely.

Structure is also very important. Children and adolescents who have a daily "routine" tend to do better academically and socially. For example, it is always a good idea to have an after-school plan which entails: 1) an after-school snack; 2) some time for play or sport; and then 3) a scheduled homework time to be performed in a distraction-free environment. Once homework has been completed, a "reward" time can be offered to celebrate getting through their assignments after a long day of school. When children have something to look forward towards, they tend to feel less frustrated and seem more motivated.

For the high school student, who can think in the abstract and hopefully understand that their success at this time of their academic life will serve later goals, discussions are also necessary but inquiring with them about how they plan to manage their school work will make them feel as though you respect their intellect. If however, you determine that they do not seem able to manage themselves well enough, you will have to help them as well. Allowing children and adolescents to "learn from their mistakes" is poor judgment on the part of the parent for the child and adolescent is not yet mature enough to manage their lives independently without parents.

A special consideration needs to be made for children who are also starting a new school. Aside from preparing them for the academic tasks ahead, care also needs to be made in terms of helping them adjust to a new environment with new social and developmental challenges. Visiting the new school prior to beginning the school year is always a good idea even if the campus is empty of students. Here, your child can at least get a feel for the new surroundings which will make them less anxious once they arrive on the first day of school.

Key Points
1. discuss school beginning with your child now
2. review expectations for the year ahead of time
3. implement structure to help with success
4. make sure they have an academic plan and can perform the required tasks
5. get them some help if needed early
6. visit the school ahead of time if a new environment

This article was featured on Your Family Matters website.

Looking for more Family Articles by Dr. Kanner? Then please visit the Your Family Matters website by clicking here.

Dr. Keith Kanner/ Morning Show Host
Your Family Matters
San Diego 6 News In The Morning
San Diego Living Show
2008 Winner: IMedia Parenting Award for Television - Disney, Inc.
2009 Winner: Man Of The Year In Medicine & Healthcare - ABA
Host/Extra Life Changers - EXTRA TV
XETV l Bay City Television, Inc.

Cammie Moise

Don’t Just Fit In, Stand Out

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 22:43:44 GMT

CHEERUPNATION’s website is a great place to stop by because you are guaranteed a smile, a snicker or a great big laugh! This site was started by my good friend Brian and he will make you smile, encourage you or just make you laugh!

I am looking forward to watching his vision come to life on this site. He has great plans and you won’t want to miss out. One of his visions is making kids feel like a star! He is asking for parents to contribute and help cheer up this nation and make your kids a star at the same time.

I am sure you are wondering how you can support him, cheer up others and make your kids feel special all at the same time. I have the answer and I hope you will help. Come up with a great saying or qoute, make an “eye catching” poster and a fun way to illustrate it with your kids!

Need a project for the kids? Let them put something together on their own. When you do, magic just may happen like in this picture below…

My daughter loves this site and is always thinking of crazy things to submit. Sometimes she even wakes up in the middle of the night. So when her friends come together, they get busy! They have fun and are very creative.

So what is holding you back from having some fun? If you are looking for inspiration from a quote, try these websites…

www.short-funny-quotes.com
www.coolfunnyqoutes.com
www.inspirational-quotes.info

I found some good ones, be the first to grab one of these make a picture stand out and submit it. You just may make someone's day.

Check out CHEERUPNATION and find out how to submit that photo!

Cammie Moise

It’s Not Too Late To Keep Kid’s Mentally Sharp Over The Summer by Dr. Keith Kanner

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 20:24:49 GMT

My Featured Guest today is Dr. Keith Kanner. I recently started following him on Twitter and found the information he shared regarding parenting issues very helpful, useful and practical. When you look at his “tweets” you can tell he not only shares information but he actively helps his “followers” by answering questions and sharing links and resources to other helpful information. Dr. Kanner has his own practice and hosts a weekly TV show called “Your Family Matters” that airs on San Diego 6. He is currently writing a book based on his show, Your Family Matters. working on a book Find out more by reading the About Dr. Kanner section below.

Keeping Kid’s Mentally Sharp Over The Summer

The last thing that children want to think about over the summer is school. After all, in their minds, they work very hard during the school year and deserve a break. In a real sense, they are right and a balanced summer filled with a combination of relaxation, socialization, fun activities, and family time is essential for the optimal development of children and adolescents. As I have discussed before, summertime presents a time to invest in activities that might not be possible during the school year and may be the only opportunity for children to learn new tasks and further expand upon their peer relationships.

However, the summer usually goes by quickly and when children do not keep their academic minds active when school is not in session, they may be "rusty" or at least more resistant to get back into school in the Fall. In fact, many children who have to go to summer school are actually sometimes better prepared to take on the academics once their vacation is over. Furthermore, as each grade in school progresses, the difficulty of the work increases as well as the homework and the expectation is that the children have learned and mastered the material from the year before and are ready to move forward. Given the typical minds of children, integration of academic material is a process over time and requires practice and repetition and gaps in review make the recall of previously learned material more difficult which may cause anxiety and insecurity in many children.

Most academics suggest that reading is the single most important activity that children and adults alike can do to keep their intellect consistent or even advanced. However, presenting reading to children over the summer is usually not well received for it feels too much like school. Parents therefore, have to somehow make the activity either fun or part of the family routine. I have always been an advocate of a family reading time. Here, a particular time is set aside in the house where the television, computer, game systems, and cell phones are off, and everyone has a book that they are reading over the summer. Children take their leads from their parents, so if reading becomes a family tradition, most children will adopt the activity.

It is always a good idea to keep close by the academic materials of your child from the previous school year in order to do a brief review a few weeks before school resumes in the Fall. Here, the parent is helping their child "brush up" on the most current academic material from the previous grade. Although most schools spend the first week or two of the new school year reviewing, when this is done is a fun and casual manner at home beforehand, the child feel well-prepared and begins the new school year with a sense of confidence which might then translate into greater success.

Other creative activities such as music, art, and other learning camps also exercise the mind over the summer and do well when mixed with some sport and relaxation. Once again, balance is key in helping children stay on top of their busy lives.

Key Points:

1. Reading is the best way to keep children's minds active over the summer
2. 2 weeks before school starts, spend some time reviewing the previous school year material
3. Children who feel the most prepared for the Fall get off to the best start
4. Balance the summer with some learning and some fun

About Dr. Kanner
Dr. Kanner is a Licensed Clinical Child, Adolescent, and Adult Psychologist and Psychoanalyst with a full time private practice in Rancho Santa Fe, California. He is also an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry in the School of Medicine at U.C. San Diego and a Clinical Instructor and Supervisor at the San Diego Psychoanalytic Society and Institute. Recently, he has become the Director of Clinical Counseling for La Jolla Country Day School and has been named to the National Board of Directors for KidsKorps, USA. He continues as a Consultant for many public and private schools in San Diego and has also received distinguished teaching awards over the past seven years. He is a published author and a sought after speaker on topics pertaining to childhood, adolescence, and parenthood. He is also presently writing a book for Fox based on his show, Your Family Matters.

"Your Family Matters" is a weekly show focusing on important issues relating to children, adolescents, adults, parenting, and family mental health. All segments incorporate both theory, research, and practical advice utilizing key points. Some segments will be part of a series, such as "Getting Ready To Go Back To School", while other pieces will be single-subject segments. Many of the topics will be taken from our viewer's e-mails and questions while other topics will be chosen based on popular interest and importance.

Follow him on Twitter by clicking here.

Click here to find more parenting articles by Dr. Kanner at Your Family Matters website, including short videos.

Here is a sample of other articles by Dr. Kanner:

Is Your Child Ready For Kindergarten?

Helping Children Develop Social Skills Over The Summer

Effects of Social Media on Children & Adolescents

Double Agent – Guest Post from parenting By dummies

cammie@momsmaterial.com — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 05:36:44 GMT

Today I am featuring a guest post by Amanda from parenting By dummies. I ran across this post from Twitter and thought it was such a great article that I wanted to share it. It is important, especially for new moms, to read about other moms that struggle with this role. Plus, it is fun to read about the things you wish you could say.

Thank goodness we don’t always say what we are thinking.

Double Agent

I'm pretty sure I am living a secret double life.

I am not who I seem. At least not to my kids anyway. I feel like they don't know me at all b/c the Mommy that they see is not the mean, short tempered, maniacal, bitter woman who is running rampant inside of my head.

Thank goodness. If that broad ever gets out, please shoot her on sight.

They say: "Mommy it's cold in here."

I say: "Wow buddy, you're right. Let's go put a sweater on you."

I think: You are crazy if you think I'm turning the heat up. Did you see our electric bill last month? Allegheny Power is losing their effing minds!

They say: "I don't want to listen to this music, Mommy. This song stinks."

I say: "Sorry kiddos, I'm tired of listening to the Wiggles. Maybe we can take turns. You let Mommy listen to her music now and we'll let you choose a song on the way home."

I think: Yeah, right, sucker. You better be asleep on the way home. Besides, my music is pretty cool. How can you not like Rihanna? And seriously if I have to listen to Fruit Salad one more time I am going to burst my ear drums with my car key.

They say: "Why do we have to take a bath?"

I say: "You don't want to be Mr. Stinky Pants at school tomorrow, do you? Besides, taking a bath is part of being healthy."

I think: Because I said so. Why wouldn't you want to take a bath? You smell like tail, your brother smells like a wet puppy, and the baby smells like vomit. I mean, I can barely stand to be in the same room with you people.

They say: "Ooooh, Mommy, you said a naughty word!"

I say: "You're right buddy, please forgive me! I shouldn't have said that. I was angry (b/c some people really CAN NOT freakin' drive), but I have to think of other things to say when I get upset."

I think: You ain't heard nothing, Chief. I'm pretty sure I was a sailor in my previous life.

They say: "Mommy, that lady smells really bad."

I say: "Sweetie! That is not a nice thing to say, you would hurt her feelings if she heard you say that."

I think: I am seriously going to puke right now. I mean, did you deuce yourself or what? That is offensive, lady, really.

They say: "I don't like this dinner. You always make yucky food."

I say: "Well, you are welcome to not eat it, but I will not be able to make you a snack later."

I think: Are you kidding me right now? Do you think I want to eat edamame and cheese sandwiches for dinner with a side of sweet potato fries (which were actually baked, NOT fried as the name implies) and a glass of milk? Ummm, no. So eat it and shut it, Mister, or you are gonna have to starve.

They say: "He pushed/pulled/slapped/kicked/punched/scratched/bit/pinched me."

I say: "That was not a very nice thing to do. I'm sorry he hurt you. Lets go talk to him about it and see if we can work it out."

I think: In the name of all that is holy if you come in here and tattle one more time I am gonna pull, push, slap, kick, punch, scratch, bite and pinch you too! BTW you really should not lick his face b/c that is nasty and you deserve a swift kick if you're gonna do that.

They say: "I love you Mommy."

I say: "I love you too, Monkey."

I think: I love you too, Monkey. And even that psycho living inside of my exhausted mind has nothing to say about that.

Posted by parentingBydummies

Check out parentingBydummies for more articles like this.

Thank you, Amanda!

Cammie Moise

Guest Blogger

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Guest Post - Reduce Stress in Your Daily Life by Coach Jenn

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It’s Not Too Late To Keep Kid’s Mentally Sharp Over The Summer by Dr. Keith Kanner

Double Agent – Guest Post from parenting By dummies