Things were getting out of control and I was overwhelmed by the smallest tasks. My brain was in a fog and I was exhausted all the time. I felt like I was on autopilot, in a daze or dream. Usually, about 10 in the morning, some of my "brain fog" would clear. I would think to myself, I don't even remember driving this morning. I was good for a few hours and then the "brain fog" would come back. I had been living like this for so long that it felt normal. I would try to explain to my doctor or friends and they would comment that it was normal for a mom with small kids to be tired all the time. I knew something wasn't right but I couldn't find the answers.
Eventually, I ended up meeting with a psychologist. Within the first 30 minutes, he said he thought he knew the answer. He said he normally wouldn't address this so quickly but he thought I would be receptive. He said, "Cammie, I think you have ADD." I was stunned! I knew I had many of the symptoms but I was far from being hyperactive. I was just the opposite. He explained ADD was missing the "H" for a reason, and their are many different types. As he began asking more questions related to school and my childhood it started making sense. He referred me to an ADD specialist and recommended testing.
I have officially been diagnosed with ADD. I met with a specialist who taught me about the diagnosis and how to deal with it on a day to day basis. I have to admit that I didn't notice much of a change until I finally decided to try a stimulant. After a week, I felt like a new person. I was reading a lot of ADD/ADHD books that explained it and included practical tips to help cope. Before the stimulant, I would read 2 pages and by the bottom of the second page, my mind had already wandered and I had to reread the last page. It is very frustrating trying to get through a book when every 2 pages you have to reread one. Once I was on the stimulant, I could read about 10-20 pages without that happening and I could recall what I had read. And believe it or not, once I went to bed, I slept better than I had in years.
This diagnosis brought relief because I finally had the answers. I understood why I had problems in school and why I was so exhausted all the time. When you are compensating for your deficiencies, it is exhausting on your body and mind. I realized that the stress of being a mom (parent) can cause your symptoms to increase. I still struggle with this everyday, but it is a relief to know why and learn how to deal with it.
Soon after my diagnosis, I started noticing that my daughter had some of the same symptoms. Over the next couple of weeks, I will share my stories related to diagnosing and parenting one child with anxiety and ADD and another with speech and developmental delays.
I wouldn't have made it through these difficult times as easily as I did without my friends who were there before me. Those that had been down this road supported me and shared their knowledge. Now it is my turn to support and share with others.
Cammie Moise